We've Missed You

An interminable length of time has elapsed since my last posting. Since last I penned a musing, my time has been prodigiously consumed with little Samuel who has radically changed priorities in the Moffitt household. As is my responsibility as the male human parent, here is a photograph of our little man. Life today is unsurpassed!!

Alas, civic responsibility beckons, and it hearkens me to once again expound to my loyal readership on the cynicisms and witticisms that traverse the serpentine path of my junket through life. Well, that and, I’m plumb tired of people asking me when my next blog’s going to be posted. So, here goes…

A myriad of events have occurred in the last few months which could have provided fodder for my commentary. The Republicans, through their own inept fallaciousness, ceded control of Congress to daft liberals. Numerous peaks and valleys have been reached in the war on terror in Iraq, not the least of which was both a peak and a valley, that being the execution of Saddam Hussein. In our own life, numerous friends and family have welcomed their own joyous bundles into the world, so many that my budget for baby gifts has become like the hyena ravaged carcass of the mighty water buffalo on the African plain – picked clean. All these events pale yea become utterly irrelevant in comparison to the two most important occurrences of the recent months: Anna Nicole Smith died and Britney Spears shaved her head! I can think of two no greater, more newsworthy items. And why not? These two are representative of some of the great women in American history and one day will rightfully take their place alongside Betsy Ross, Clara Barton, my mother and numerous other women who have helped to shape this great country of ours.

I had high hopes for 2007 but it took less than two months for them to be dashed. America’s infatuation with matters of extreme unimportance never ceases to baffle me. Most years, we can barely get half of the U.S. population to come out and vote in a presidential election (far less in local elections) which most times, takes less than an hour of their lives. Yet, on Sunday night, nearly 40 million people will tune in for 3 ½ hours to watch Hollywood celebrate itself and pat its own “royal” back on Oscar night. Readership in newspapers declines but readership in entertainment magazines is at all time highs. For the past week, the lead news stories on every news network, including well respected ones, discuss every angle of the “tragic” death of Anna Nicole Smith (whom I always thought would be dead well before age 40) and ponder every viewpoint of why Britney Shears, uh, Spears shaved her head. Is it a cry for help? Is she going insane? Did her mother not love her enough? Aaahhh…

I’m issuing a cry for help!!! Stop already. It revolts me to see these shiftless, indolent riffraff garner worldwide attention for being, well, shiftless, indolent riffraff. Who cares? If Britney wants to bald herself and throw her life away with a languorous, wannabe rapper who can’t sell his music because it’s abhorrent then let her. I need not be involved and I need not hear about it. Fill my magazine pages and television airwaves with something of actual import. Otherwise, leave me alone.

If not for Sam smiling at me as I write, I’d rue the day I brought him into this fatuous, backward world where right is wrong and the tail wags the dog. But he’s here and so am I and with the resuming of these regular musings, I will renew my campaign to upend the lunacy of society and provide meaningful perspective amidst the maze of balderdash with which I find myself inundated every waking moment. Oh, who am I kidding…I’m type A, conservative, close minded and insanely opinionated…I just want to rant…welcome back Steve…I’ve missed you…we’ve all missed you. Until next time…