The Magnetism of Gullibility
It’s been over a month since my last entry. I offer my apologies to each and every one of you. While I wish I could say I had a legitimate and worthy excuse such as finishing up a PhD (congrats JB), I cannot; therefore, I will simply apologize and press on.
This weekend, we spent two beautiful days out of doors selling my lovely bride’s artwork at the Chappell Hill Bluebonnet Festival. Attending these festivals as a vendor renders us time to people-watch, ponder the meaning of life, and muse about various and as sundry important items. Unless, you happen to be located next to the man who invented magnetic jewelry.
Now, I’m all for commerce, free trade and creative advertising. The American dream is to come up with an idea, make a product that no one else makes, products that appeal to a market, and then get rich selling it to those who just can’t live without it. Mr. Lunez’ magnetic jewelry went way past the American dream. It was our weekend nightmare. Uninvited, Mr. Lunez regaled us with his story: he invented the idea of magnetic jewelry 12 years ago when he asked the Chinese if they could put magnets in his jewelry stones. Since then, everyone has copied him and therefore, anyone who sells magnetic jewelry is one of his “disciples”. (I can’t make this stuff up; my wife will vouch for its veracity.) All weekend long, primarily those north of 65 years old, stopped by the table to hear Mr. Lunez tout the medicinal benefits of magnetic jewelry. Wear it on your ankle, your wrist, your neck, your finger, basically anywhere you have pain and you will find relief and healing. One by one, patrons shelled out $5 for a bracelet that would heal them. Given the amazing healing power of this jewelry, the medical industry must be reeling from the economic impact. Why pay $50K for surgery when for $50, I can position magnets from head to toe and heal everything from bunions to brain tumors? Mr. Lunez informed us that he even cured cancer in himself in 21 days through the use of magnets and other non-medical methods. I’m sure the unemployment office line this morning is filled with oncologists applying for assistance. Mr. Lunez didn’t stop there…he also forever changed our way of life when he educated us with this nugget: Americans have so many tumors and such a high rate of cancer because they drink bottled water. The water in the plastic bottles absorbs toxins from the plastic, leading to numerous medical problems. I found it hard to take him seriously though; he sipped beer from a plastic cup while giving me this noteworthy advice. The alcohol in the beer must quell the toxins and if Americans would just drink more beer…I’m getting started right away. Just kidding mom!!
Anyway, all this caused me to muse just how gullible the American people have become. Mr. Lunez must have made $500 this weekend, basically selling magnets that are strung together. They certainly didn’t have much aesthetic appeal, nor are they particularly fashionable. His selling point strictly was their health benefits and people lined up to plunk their money down. I guess the moral of the story is: it’s not about the product you invent…it’s about how good of a story you invent to sell the product.
posted by Steve @ 9:17 PM
5 Comments:
i was over at that there blubonnet festuval and boght me 10 of them braselets. I feel better alredy, i got this swelling around my butt and i just...well, you know, put em close by the swellin and it goes down in minutes, i have lost a few braselets though..i'll need to find him for more of em. THat guy is amazing!
hey, did the bracelets all stick together...you know...'cause they're magnets
Mr "Loon"ez is a marketing genius!
Thanks for the late night entertainment. A little birdie gave me youf blog site in an attempt to cheer me up. I must have looked glum at our last meeting.
The little birdie was amazingly perceptive as I have laughed out loud as I sit on my balcony lit by the glow of the laptop and muted moonrays through the trees. Rarely do I laugh out loud when I am alone (which is most of the time), but tonight your musings were medicine for my soul. They had to at least be better than a magnetic bracelet and a bottle of grade 2 maple syrup. (Try a coffee enema--I hear it is a good cleanser.) But I digress.
You are a gifted muser and blogger. If your day job and your weekend job fail to provide for your daily needs, you might try penning a book. I for one would pay good money (is there such a thing as bad money?) to read and be entertained. Not only is the content of your musings a worthy read, but what joy to read someone who writes well AND posts on the web. You actually use capital letters and for the most part correct punctuation (smile--Being almost a baby boomer I still do not know how to make a smiley face with type). Your high school English teacher would be thrilled to see a former student actually use some of the knowledge imparted (or at least presented--does impart imply someone receiving the knowledge?).
Thanks for adding to the seldom had pleasure of sitting for a moment in the great outdoors (among the steady hum of air conditioner compressors, the occasional rustle of leaves in the cool breeze, the delicate tinkle of windchimes, and the not-distant-enough whirr of cars on the highway and sirens announcing their arrival at the hospital). Reading your blog tonight ranks right up there with the thrill of watching Bruce and the boys whoop up on Ray Allen and his gang.
A large part of my writing ability was honed by annual research papers painstakingly reviewed by my high school English teacher. For that I am eternally grateful.
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