Media Amok!!

It is with great distress that I sit down to pen this entry to you, my loyal readership. I’ll pause now for the collective sigh of, “Here he goes again”, the loudest of which just came from my beautiful bride who hears these dire tales of woe with much more frequency than many of you all do and, therefore, is entitled to a much louder and longer sigh.

My distress does not lie in the fact that my beautiful, check that, handsome 7 ½ month old is now crawling and I feel less like a dad and more like the trusted herd dog. Nor does it lie in the fact that college for my 7 ½ month old is going to cost me (according to my banker) $40,000 annually by the time he’s 18, a number well above the median household income in the United States. That magnitude of that number is such that I can’t begin to save enough pennies or donate enough plasma to pay for that affair. I hope his grandparents are reading this because I’m counting on their financial support. No, my distress stems from a much weightier matter, one that will significantly affect society for the rest of our natural lives, one with far reaching consequences so that this matter has grasped the attention of even the most out of touch and disconnected members of our planet. Our lives will forever be changed because of this breaking news: Paris Hilton feigned sickness and conned her way out of jail, after serving only 3 days of her already reduced 23 day sentence. Then, in a stunning reversal of her fortunes, the judge ordered her back to the clink to serve the aforementioned reduced previously prescribed 45 day sentence. According to reports, amid tears, screaming, and crying out for mommy, she was escorted from the courtroom in handcuffs and returned to prison.

Now, before you jump to conclusions about the state of my own sanity that I would even take the time to acknowledge this event given my utter distaste for anything Hollywood, heiress, socialite, Susan Sarandon, etc. let me stop you there. My distress does not stem from story itself but rather from the fact that, as I awoke Thursday morning, this was breaking headline news on every major network and cable news station, even my beloved Fox News. Does anyone actually care that much about a spoiled rotten, morally perverse, over-hyped, under-intelligent nitwit who apparently feels too entitled to pay for her crimes? Is our society so intrigued with the life of the “rich and famous” that we are willing to pay for equally under-intelligent journalists to stand outside the jailhouse and wait to see what happens? Believe me we pay for it, just follow the trail of money: news shows pay for themselves by airing commercials, which are paid for by companies who sell products that they manufacture which we buy. You might as well cut a check to CBS and designate in the memo line the “Paris Hilton 24 Hour Jail Stakeout Project”. And all this during at time when there is no lack of pressing issues our esteemed media could address. Illegal immigrants pour across our borders, inept border guards let in tuberculosis ridden travelers, to mention just a few. But no, lunacy abounds and we are forced to turn our heads and take notice of a “socialite” gone awry, to pity the terror she must feel as she is carted back to a meager cell with satellite television, to wonder what she will come up with next to get out of doing the time.

I’m powerless to stop this insanity so I guess I’ll just have to try to overlook it. Besides, I’ve got to run…I’m late for my part time college fund raising gig…staking out local watering holes in case Britney Spears shows up in various states of intoxicated undress…I’m told the American public is looking for more news about her escapades and will pay for it…until next time…